i'm happy. the end.

summer. so far, i have figured out that i have no clue how i want to spend my summer. i figure that i want to read a lot of interesting books, paint unabashedly, crochet new patterns and designs, travel, and preferably get a tan. deep into week one, i have yet to crack open a book for more than five minutes, touch my brushes to paint, and so on and so forth. work has consumed me. hanging out with friends has become more of a priority. oh well, i guess that i will work towards my summer goals next week, or possibly this weekend at the earliest.

i just want to touch on a few emotions or thoughts, a little more me-blog-like. i am becoming more reflective lately. i want to look at situations more carefully before taking a step forward or running away completely. i also want to actually become a different person, like i say that i am. i feel like i talk a lot of talk, but when pushed into a situation or left subject to my own thoughts, i am the same ... lost and scared and clingy and petrified and prideful and fearful and hopeless. but in jesus, i am so much more than i actually am: confident and reflective and careful and hopeful and at ease and ok being alone and much more. it's just an interesting time right now. so many of my friends have left, and i am trying to be ok with hanging out with myself most of the time. in short, life is good. things are good. i am good.

just a little update. :) i'm happy. the end.