music meets me in a deep place.

music speaks to me.  the lyrics of my favorite songs are the thoughts in my head expressed by someone i have never met.  it seems like they know me and are writing to me, about me, for me, because of me, on and on.  when a song hits me in a deep place, i am moved.  i'm most likely to express emotions that need to be exposed... the ones that are buried.  

tonight, i listen to missy higgins.  she sings about all the things i feel. all the words i can't find, all the emotions i feel that i can't express, she does.  she knows.  she's sullen.  she's what you listen to when you feel blue.  and blue is my favorite color/emotion these days.  it fits me well.  

ok, i will share a song that i can't help but play over and over on my iTunes.  

"Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins.

I don't know what I've done

Or if I like what I've begun

But something told me to run

And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head

LIttle voices whispering

That I should go and this should end

Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you

All I know is that I should

And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you

All I know is that I should

'Cos she will love you more than I could

She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white

That it was wrong or it was right

But you ain't leaving without a fight

And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you

All I know is that I should

And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you

All I know is that I should

'Cos she will love you more than I could

She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call

You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all

But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you

This is what I have to do

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you

All I know is that I should

And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you

All I know is that I should

'Cos she will love you more than I could

She who dares to stand where I stood

Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood

this song brings crocodile tears to my eyes. parts of this song apply to me, and some parts don't.  all in all, i relate.  

it tears me up a bit to walk away. walking away requires strength, and that is not one thing i have right now.  i know i sound a bit dramatic.  i am completely aware of my pathetic-ness.  but as i told a friend tonight, i will bounce back.  "the best is yet to come."