do you ever get the feeling that you have been dissed or dismissed? ugh, i am feeling that way by a few people today.

i feel like i am trying really hard to be a friend and a nice person to people who might deserve a harsh word or two from me. but i figure that being hateful only produces negative feelings in me, as well as hatred and dissension. mean words only feel good when you vent, but later they don't sit well with me. after i tell someone off, i always feel guilty. maybe i am just a really emotional person who can't stand to be hurt or hurt someone else.

maybe the issue is that i feel too deeply about things that happen to me. i get really excited about things - happy emotional; i get really sad about things - martyr emotional. i understand that i am not going to escape heartache or painful, hurtful situations in my life, but i feel like i deserve a little break now and then.

i am going to keep being nice because that allows me to put my head on my pillow at night. i have to believe that it will work in my favor one day.